Only Worth Living With You
by Lexie00
Summary: "My life's only worth living if it's with you." she tells me.- Peeta and Katniss after the war, how they came to be with each other. two souls that belong with each other, they just need to get through the new hell coming for them. rating may change to M in later chapters.


**Disclaimer; I don't own anything to do with the hunger games.**

**Chapter 1.**

**Eight Years Later.**

**Peeta's POV.**

The waves crashed against the cliff, the cool sea air blowing through the bedroom windows. The early sun rising above the horizon, lighting the sea on fire, burning it with reds, yellows and oranges. I walk out onto the patio, overlooking the sea, the beach setting the easel up, placing the canvas I start carefully and lightly sketching the scene before starting on the colours. I move fast, the scene before me slowly fading away into morning light. The sensation of feeling the brush beneath my fingers as I work, the gentle scrape of paint as it moves along the canvas, the colours mixing, the smell of the wet paint, all help to calm me, to let me relax. My alarm goes off, signalling my times up and I need to get us ready. I leave the canvas, putting the paints away and walk back into the small cottage that I brought not too long ago. The small three bedroom cottage, sitting atop the cliffs, looking over the beach of district 4 the bustling town and port down below. The soft cream colours, light blues and sea greens that make up the colours of the cottage. Walking from the kitchen/ living room area, both joined as one into a living/ dinning area. Small shelves dotted around the room, pictures of the three of us during the last year, all happily smiling, laughing, acting as a family with all the time in the world. Books and paintings also adorn the shelves, paintings that to the both of them are his best. He walks down to her room, the yellow of the door, painting with flowers of all different colours, her name taking centre of place among the flowers. I slowly open the door, taking in her room, the murals I painted with her covering the walls, the forest of pines and oaks, the rivers and flowers growing on the ground, the birds flying through the air, the beach on the other wall the waves softly crashing against the rocks. The thought of when we finished, realising it looks like the second arena but we over came that quickly, going through all the differences, now it reminds me of the beaches here in four. I walk over to her bedside, one arm clutching the stuffed rabbit the other, her thumb stuck in her mouth, resting there. The white and blue pastel duvet wrapped up around her neck. I smile looking at the beautiful little angel.

"Alex... Alex, little princess... come on time to get up." I tell her, pushing the falling hair out of her face. Dark blonde, a combination of both her parents, her features matching her mothers, her personality a mixture of both, her fierce loyalty and protection for those she loves, my calmness and artist talent. I swear even at almost three years old she draws like a ten-year old. Slowly she starts to rise, my early morning habit picked up by her. Mumbling some incoherent words she open her eye's, blinking away the sleep, a smile slowly working its way onto her face as she sees me. Her mother told me that she had a great relationship with her dad, that she wanted her daughter to have that as well, that she did have it. As she finally opens her deep, violet, blue eye's, a face splitting smile across she leaps from the bed, rabbit still clutched in her hands and wraps her arms around me.

"Daddy" she happily mumbles as I pick her up leading her through to the kitchen/dining area, placing her on the table at her chair.

"What do you want for breakfast? blueberry pancakes?" I question and watch her face light up, squealing a yes over and over. Laughing I begin making us both a batch, it only being 7 in the morning we've got plenty of time before the bakery needs to open at nine. Both sitting eating the pancakes, Alex shoving them down her mouth. I laugh but do tell her to slow down, her face covered in blueberry pancakes and syrup a toothy grin given back in response. I just laugh lightly. After we finish, I lead her to get washed, dress and packed for the afternoon. I did promise her that I'd take her to the beach, I always keep my promise.

"Got everything you need little Alex." she nods her head vigorously.

"yes daddy." she tells me, I pick her bag, mine and sling them over my left shoulder, picking her up on my right side we set off, the bakery first then the beach after. The bakery it's self, located in the town square isn't as large as my parents old one. We don't sell as many types of breads or cakes but the ones we do make sell fast. There's four of us, me, Mark who works the morning 7 till 2, setting up and putting breads and cakes on to cook. Ryan works till close, 6pm setting up the last few things for the next morning and closing the bakery up. Finally there's Ashley works 9 till 4, same as me only she works out front, selling and handling the cash register. I won't be working as late today, leaving at one so that me and Alex can head to the beach. It'll be her first time there that she'll remember, her first time without her mother there, first time since we got back to four from seven and the rest. The day speeds by quickly, Mark, Ryan and Ashley all giving their sympathy to me and little Alex though she doesn't fully understand it yet. She only started to remember things clearly around the time her mother passed away, it devastated her. She didn't understand why but after time spent coming to terms with it, time spent quietly holding onto me, never letting me leave her sight, time spent with me trying to explain, to a just turned two-year old about death she finally came out of her shell. Now back in four, where me and her mother finally set some roots down I want her to enjoy the peace that this place brought us, away from the remnant of the war, the games and life we both had before the Mockingjay movement.

As I work on some dough, I hear the little pitter-patter of feet coming in from the store front, Ashley taking Alex while the store had quieted down.

"Daddy Shhhh." she tells me, hiding in-front of my legs, Ashley coming in from the front. I smile as she does, her having watched over Alex a few times before they get on great.

"Where's the little trouble maker hmmm, is she in here?" she asks. Clearly knowing where she's hiding, I laugh shaking my head and continue working though the laugh does earn a light smack on my leg, just like her mother a fiery temper. I just laugh louder.

"Ahh your dad gave you away." Ashley pretend yells, throwing me under the bus to my daughters wrath.

"Daddy!" she shouts coming out from my leg, a ploy by Ashley to get her, as she's just about to tell me off she's pick up by Ashley.

"Got you!" Alex screaming, laughs from the other men, Mark and Ryan both having older children, they know the importance of letting your kids have a fun childhood. Especially after mine, I'm more determined than ever to make sure Alex has the best one possible. "It's almost one, Mr Mellark. Beach time." Alex yelling in response.

"Thanks for the reminder, I'll be reading in ten." I tell her, nodding she returns to the store front, Alex with her as I wash up. "Thanks for this guys, it means a lot." I say to Mark and Ryan.

"Don't worry Peet, have fun at the beach with your kid, we'll be fine here. If there's any problems John and Philip have already agreed to come in should we need them." I nod, John and Philip, two part-time workers that have agreed to work when the time's needed, I try to give them as much as possible with them heading to college in district 3 after the summer it'll be good for them to have money. I say thanks to the two men and walk to the sink, they're two of my best friends now, they've been there for me when things got rough. I wash up and head out front, Alex already waiting by the door.

"Daddy NOW!" she huffed out, storming over to me.

"Alright, alright. I'm coming." I tell her. Ashley telling us to have fun as we leave.

The warm air, the scorching sun beats down hard on the beach, the warm sand runs between my toes. Alex in front of me, sun-cream already on building a sand castle as I lean back on the beach chair, book in hand. Some old, pre-dark time book, The Hobbit. Quite good, just as I'm getting back into the reading a large bucket of warm sand appears over my head, the laughter and giggles of Alex behind me. I sit my book down, turning to see her.

"Ahhh, so... we're playing sneakily now." she giggles but is caught off guard when I grab her, squealing I take her to the sea. "We'll need to wash all that sand out, wont we."

"Noooooo! No! Daaaaddy!" she screams, through laughter I sit down in the shallows, holding her in front as a small wave crashes against her.

"Ahhh!" laughing and squealing at the same time, bringing joy to my heart. That's how the rest of the day is spent, sand, sea and ice creams, chips for dinner down at the beach watching the sunset. Nearly dark, the sun just sitting above the horizon, Alex and the bags in my arms, slowly sleeping as I make my way back up the road to the cottage, passing by Finnick and Annie's house. At the moment they're in the capitol, Finn's getting his lung check up on. After the attack down in the sewers his left lung was completely destroyed and replaced with a new, artificial one. I walk up the road stopping at the top, noting the two people who sit on the beach looking out over the sea. They seem oddly familiar, getting closer my mind jolts the memory of them to the front.

"Delly Cartwright?" her head snaps towards me.

"Peeta!" she squeals, rushing to hug me but stopping and taking note of the small girl in my arms, Thom coming up behind her.

"Thom?" I question again.

"Hey Peeta, long time." he says, extending his had as I drop the bags and shake his hand, Alex mumbling in protest of the movement.

"Your looking good, both of you." I tell them, seeing Delly's small bump I throw a questioning glance at her.

"We got married two years ago." she tell me, herself questioning my daughter, though she doesn't realise it.

"This is my daughter, Alexia Manson Mellark." I tell them, their eye's blowing open wide, mouths hanging open. "Come on in, we can talk inside." I tell them and they fallow, Thom helping me with the bags. As we enter I tell Thom to just set the bags anywhere and I'll be back in a minute after I put Alex down. I close Alex's door quietly, leaving it open just a crack I make my way back to Delly and Thom. I make us tea and lead them out back to the deck chairs, the warm air making it perfect to talk, outside as well should it get a little loud. We sit down and sip the tea, I slowly wait for the first question.

"Peeta how have you been... I mean... well we heard that the deal with the president was for the victors to return each year to the capitol for a celebration but you've been missing for nearly 4 years?" I nod remembering the deal, the victor's deal coin called it. We would all be left alone, still paid the victors sum on one condition we'd return every year for a celebration to mark the end of the games. While they haven't stopped my payments, Delly is right I haven't attended for the past 4 celebrations, neither did my wife.

"Things happened Delly. I wasn't really missing, Finnick and Annie had some idea of where I was. They didn't say anything because they understood why I couldn't come." she looks confused, Thom being silent remains. He knows we where like brother and sister so I assume he'll stay out unless needed. "When I left twelve, I travelled for a bit and slowly made my way to seven." I take another sip of tea, this being the first time I've spoken of what I went through with my wife, only Finn and Annie know the bare details. "I stayed with Johanna for a while, we already had a strange but good connection after everything we went through in the capitol. From there we... we grew together, closer before finally giving us a shot and it worked. We worked really well together and I loved being with her, she kept me grounded and I for her. We married five years ago, a small wedding only me, Johanna, Finn, Annie, Flynn and a few friends from district four. It was the best year of my life, only topped with-in months Johanna told me she was pregnant. I was so over joyed at it, we both where, we where going to have a family." I stop myself, shaking slightly as I remember the next news we got. " it... it was on her first ultrasound that we found out about her... her cancer." Delly gasp, Thom sits there with a shocked expression on his face. "She had breast cancer, stage 4 they told us. It's the most serious. They talked us through everything, the cancer had spread to most her organs, tumours in the liver and bones. They talked us through the options but one thing came up through them all, the baby might not survive during the treatment and she might not either. It... it was the worst thing to ever happen and she made the decision there and then. She wasn't going to have the treatment should it mean the death of our child, she'd fight the cancer but not have any treatment that hurts the baby. The doctors explained that should we do this, after the child is born too much time may have passed to help her make a recovery but she didn't care. After everything that had been taken from her, from us both she wasn't going to let her own body do it." I down the rest of the tea, getting up and walking to the deck edge, leaning on the railing as I let the tears fall. Delly wraps her arms around me. "I... it was difficult but we got through the pregnancy, Finn and Annie helping along the way to hide it from the world and she was born on the 23rd of July, Alexia Manson Mellark. Our beautiful baby daughter. A few weeks later they... they told us both what we knew, the cancer was to far gone for them to help. so..." I swallow hard. " so we made the decision to forgo the staying in hospital option and made plans for her to be treated at home, which was basically just pain medication. After five months Johanna decided she didn't want to sit around a wait for the end, she wanted as many memories with me and her daughter as she could get, so we packed up what little we had and left four, moving around the country and staying out of the spot-light. It... it was the best time of my life, we where together, happy with our daughter but too soon the time came when she could continue. We went back to seven, back to her home, our home. We'd spent one year, eight months and five days travelling. She lasted another four, she passed away quietly and peacefully in her sleep, I buried her in seven, where she asked to be, Finn, Annie, Flynn, Mark and Ryan where there." I breath in deeply the air suddenly hard to get.

"Peeta, I'm... I'm so sorry." Delly tells me, through the tears I only nod.

"We... we moved back to four a few weeks ago. This is where me and Johanna had planned to live, it seemed right. I made a small memorial to her over by that tree." I tell them pointing to it, the one with a bench beneath it. "We loved to sit there and just watch the sky, the sea. We understood why Finn and Annie where so happy here." I finishes there, not knowing how to continue but a nagging thought gets me. "Delly how did you find me? I never told anyone." I ask.

"Well you did, Finnick and Annie Odair. We needed to find you. After we explained way, they told me and Thom, made us promise to not tell anyone else. We haven't." now I am wondering what's going on. "Peeta what have you heard about twelve, about Katniss?" the name catches me off guard. I haven't, to be honest thought about her since getting together with Johanna.

"To be honest Delly... I haven't thought about her or twelve for sometime now. I've had other things going on but last I heard she was engaged to Gale." I tell her, remembering the news and how oddly I felt an ease with it, relieved that she had move on and was happy, as happy as I was with Johanna.

"It never happened Peeta, they never happened. At the wedding she just ran, she couldn't go through with it... she said she had made a mistake, that she loved Gale but only as a brother." she tells me, I don't know how this should make me feel. " she has terrible nightmares, ones that no one, not even prim can comfort her from, she screams for you, that was her mistake. She let you go, she regrets it, she told us it worst the biggest thing she's even done." I'm shocked to hear this but where as before the war, before the quell I would have felt over-joy at this, at her wanting me, now I'm not to sure. While yes I do care about her, something I always will do after everything we went through I'm not sure if it's love any-more. I think I came to except that she'll have never loved me the way I did her, so I let her go and moved on with my life. We protect each other but there isn't anything to protect us from now, nothing but life and I don't know if I can protect here from that, in fact I'm sure I can't.

"Delly after everything, the games, the act, the war I don't... I don't know any-more. When we last spoke she explained that she needed a fresh start away from the acts of snow and the games. We spilt leaving each other and those feelings behind, I moved on. I fell in love with Johanna, I have a daughter now, I can't just up and leave because she scared . I stopped letting things rule my world long ago."

"Peeta I know that you still care about her-"

"Not like that, not any-more!" I yell, Thom is standing but the look on his face is one of understanding.

"Peeta please just think about it, we need to leave tomorrow. She needs you Peeta, she needs what only you can give her... a life worth living. Please think about it, we have a ticket for you, we'll get one for your daughter... please Peeta, please be at the train station tomorrow at noon." I don't say anything, opting to look out over the dark sea, the night fully upon us now. I hear them leave but the information Delly gave me weighs heavily on my mind, I go to bed my mind a jumble with thoughts, my dreams filled with the old version of twelve, the one I left behind, a girl with liquid silver eye's and a dark braid. I know before I wake, I'll be returning to twelve, in what manner though I've no idea.

**This is my first story and I hope you'll like it. This is just a prologue and I'm not sure how long updates will be, maybe one a week on the weekend?**

**Just a few notes on the chapter and story. Peeta and Katniss choose to leave each other, too much having happened between them, Finnick lived though injured, prim as well. The relationship between Peeta and Johanna develop because of their time spent together in the capitol. It will be Everlark it'll just take sometime for them to find each other, or rather Peeta to find his way back to Katniss.**

**I'm also sorry about the grammar and spelling mistakes. **

**Hope you like and please any help would be really appreciated.**

**Thanks for reading/ review(if any) see you next chapter. **


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